Much to several of our students’ dismay, school (and church) are cancelled tomorrow. I’m not going to lie–as much as I love our church, I put in about 60 hours there last week (due to working full time and being a youth minister’s wife) and I need a little break. I told Jay, just to be clear, I meant a break from church, not from God.
Today was an answer to my (and mom’s) prayers. I called her yesterday, totally exhausted (in every -ally way you can think of) and in tears because I feel like I can’t catch up. My job is very demanding, which is ok because I have high standards for work. But on top of that, I’m working constantly at my “other job”–a minister’s wife.
Some people don’t understand there are unspoken responsibilities for me. Some churches ask a lot of the wives. They expect a wife to teach a Bible study or small group, be at all the church functions, and somehow have a job that allows you to do that and participate in all camps, DNOWs, mission trips, and other functions. Luckily, First Irving isn’t that way.
When we interviewed, we all agreed that my role as a wife is to support Jay–that I’m not the minister. I’m also not the girl’s minister. We have a college student who serves in this position at our church. And she’s great at it.
However, I am expected to be at church functions, either as a staff member or the wife of a minister. And I totally want to be there! But it can lead to a lot of church time. And while it is indeed a blessing to be involved in any way at First Irving, sometimes it can be overwhelming.
So, after last week’s “at-church-or-at-a-student activity” hours topped 60, I told Jay I couldn’t do this. I needed him to tell me if my full-time job was more important (at this stage of our life) or if my involvement in the Student Ministry was more important to him.
The full-time job allows us to save up money for later, which is so great. But I’m never able to rest if I’m working 40 hours there and then immediately rushing to several students’ sports games or church activities. I wasn’t able to work out or even cook dinner last week because we haven’t been home at all.
All that said, we’re trying to figure out what that means for us. While I want to save money, I also want to be able to sleep at night–not just lay in bed but get actual, restful sleep. I haven’t mastered the ability to turn off my brain at night, so my sleep is usually interrupted. I also deeply desire to participate in Student Ministry events. Often times, I’m only able to stay for a little while (if I’m able to show up at all), and I hate that.
I just wonder if it’s the right season for this type of job. Again, I love the church and I love the people. I’m just trying to do too much, and my body and mind are telling me to slow down.
I’m thankful for the rest today and the rest tomorrow.
Our pastor texted us this verse from Job after he let us know the offices are closed:
Speaking of the Lord:
He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’
and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’
So that everyone he has made may know his work,
he stops all people from their labor.
Enjoy seeing the Lord’s powerful work tomorrow 🙂